Miss the first part? Start here: https://scienceofcopywriting.com/copywriting/the-art-of-talking-part-1-copywriting-guide/
I’m sitting at home typing away. My wife is doing the same on another machine. There’s no talking, just the sound of mechanical keys being pressed. “Clackety clack” sometimes in unison, but mostly in random bursts of speed.
The same is happening all over the world 24/7. If an alien were listening and picking this up, they might mistakenly think it was some kind of language, yet in reality it is. Just impossible to decipher.
When we’re talking with strangers, it’s much the same. We understand the words, but not, at first the meaning.
We don’t know their hidden agendas. We don’t know their state of mind. We don’t know their desires (if they have any at all).
We try our intuitive best to add meaning, but mostly we get it wrong. We come away wondering if we’d said something we shouldn’t, or wondering why the conversation didn’t end well (or on the odd occasion, congratulating ourselves on a job well done – but still not knowing 100% – time will tell…).
No one is immune from this disease. We developed language because the alternative was worse. But we’ve got a VERY long way to go.
People still don’t take language seriously today. We all believe we have clarity when we speak, yet we mostly don’t.
We all believe we can put our case better than anyone else (“because no one knows my product better than me”).
When we pitch an idea to a client, unless (at the time of pitching) the words fit EXACTLY with what they WANT to hear, they will more than likely dismiss it (I know because I’ve been on both ends of this discussion many times).
So we come back once again to what I said at the start of this mini-series on talking. We need to learn to listen (which I’ll stress again, does NOT mean ‘not talking’).
The ONLY way to listen properly is with an OPEN mind. If you feel emotion whilst listening, that is bias kicking in. Your triggers are being pressed. LISTEN to those triggers, they will tell you more about yourself than any psychologist.
And when you hear them, practice the exercise in part 2 until you learn to control yourself. Then follow everything I’ve ever written in the Science of Copywriting on negotiation. Search for it in the group’s search box. There’s a lot of stuff here.
When you’ve done that, join me in the ICA and get mentored.